Monthly Archives: December 2023

4 Day Work Week

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I’ve always found it interesting that we often long for Fridays. The end of the work week. A time to finally relax and have time to do get things done in our personal life. But often times we are wishing away time. It is no surprise then that time seems to go by so quickly. It’s hard to not fall into the culture of “Is it Friday yet?” I love my job. I really do. But it is draining sometimes.

During Covid, my school had a work day on Monday for teachers to prepare for the week and then classes the other 4 days. I miss having that one day for uninterrupted time to get the paperwork part of the job done. I implemented in my old school a half day, once a week for this. As counselors, we are technically on a teacher contract which means that we should get a 30 minute duty free lunch and 2 plan periods. Thankfully, our team tries to eat lunch together every day but 2 45 minutes periods in the day to plan rarely happens, especially as we near the end of the semester and parents start to pay attention to their student’s grades.

The education system is broken in so many ways, but bringing back a 4 day school week with a day for the logistical stuff would, in my mind, lessen the burn out rate. Some schools are moving that way due to staffing issues. I’m sure it would be beneficial for other professions as well. Maybe someday someone in a position of power will recognize that clocked hours does not always mean more productivity.

The Holidays

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I used to LOVE Christmas as a kid. My mom is one of 7 and dad is one of 5 so even though it was just my brother and I with a nine year age gap, Christmas was always full of family and excitement. My cousins and I would unwrap our gifts first and then run off to play while the adults did whatever they did.

As I have grown older, I have rarely been in a relationship over the holidays. And with no children of my own and no nieces or nephews, the magic has fizzled. Our family doesn’t exchange gifts and the only difference is a large meal in the middle of the day. We even stopped going to mass on Christmas because the incense made the whole family’s eyes water and noses run.

With new traditions and reestablishing the reason for the season, I hope to reset my holiday expectations. It’s going to be a challenge to not compare my current situation to my younger years, to the traditions of my friends or to what I thought my life would look like at 42. But I really want to shift my perspective. I’m healthy. I enjoy my life. And I have so much to be grateful for. That is my view of having a true holiday spirit.

Attempts at Pregnancy

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At the age of 39, I wasn’t in a relationship and I still had a burning desire to be a mother. So, I started the process of becoming a single mother by choice. Over the course of the next 2 years, I underwent 2 failed IUIs and 1 round of IVF, which resulted in 1 healthy embryo. I used 2 different anonymous donors thinking that might make a difference. I was devastated when my 1 embryo did not survive the implantation. I had to take a second mortgage out on my house to cover the costs because my insurance did not pay for any medication and only 50% of the rest.

I felt lost and had a very difficult time grieving all my losses and the idea that I would not be a mother to my own children. You see, I was an egg donor 6 times in my 20s. I never thought it was possible that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to or be able to have babies of my own. I will admit that I am not the best at grief. I usually book too many trips and buy too many clothes when I’m sad, which doesn’t help the already overwhelming debt I was in.

As of January 1, 2023, Colorado passed a law (Colorado Building Families Act) that insurance companies with more than 100 employees have to cover at least 3 IVF retrievals and an unlimited number of transfers. I felt this glimmer of hope that maybe I had one more shot. I am now 42 and back in the process. I decided to switch fertility clinics and try a new donor and have a completely fresh start with hopefully a completely different outcome. I had so many friends, coworkers and my family supporting me through the last round. They were amazing. But this time, I am doing it for myself, by myself. My therapist and one other friend are the only people who know what I am embarking on. I guess now anyone reading this will know as well. It’s scary but also empowering because I am doing something that I am truly passionate and committed to. I don’t know if it will work this time either but I cannot say that I didn’t give this dream everything I had. And if it isn’t meant to be, I will have to work through accepting that and shifting my dreams, as we all have to do from time to time.

Adulting

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There are many aspects about being an adult that are amazing: going on a trip whenever you want; having anything in your fridge that you want; leaving the dishes in the sink without your parent yelling at you. But other things are not fun. Like sitting for 5 hours to spend $1400 to get new tires on your vehicle.

I find adulting to be hard. How are you suppose to know exactly what tires you need? I went through the dealership website and clicked on what they suggested and I still got it wrong. This is where I wish my dad lived closer or was in better mental health to help with these decisions. When you are out there on your own, it’s hard to research and/or know that you need to research certain things, like tires or refrigerator maintenance or cleaning out your dryer vents. Inevitably I learn things the hard way. Adulting, I guess.

Festive

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I like to wait to decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving. Since I was traveling tor turkey day and gone for a work conference, I’m a little late in making my house holly jolly. I love decorating. I think it makes the house feel more warm and inviting. I loved decorating for Christmas when I was a kid. I would use my imagination and create stories with all the ornaments and side displays. I’m not sure if my mom enough puts that stuff out anymore.

The luster and excitement of the holidays has dwindled over the years. My brother is 9 years younger than me and the year that he found out about Santa was the beginning of the end. It just wasn’t fun anymore. And I haven’t had the blessing of children in my life, unfortunately, and I have no partner so the holidays are kinda sad. I suppose that is because I make them sad by comparing to others the things that I don’t have instead of being grateful for all that I do.

This year, I am starting a new tradition where I stay in my own home for Christmas. No more traveling. If my IVF had worked last year, I would be due any day and wouldn’t be fit to travel. So I am embracing the holidays in a new way. I have decided to join the Alamo Cinema monthly subscriber club and go to a movie every week. They are playing old Christmas movies on the big screen. I went to an event in Chicago like that with old movies and it was so fun. I am really trying to stay festive this year and remember the true meaning of Christmas and embrace all that I am thankful for.

Fur Baby

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I don’t have children and I am single. 4 years ago, I bought my first dog. Pets were not allowed in my house growing up so I had never known the love for and from a pet. My Greta was not an affectionate puppy. I was actually bummed for the longest time because she just wanted to be on the cold tile or by the door where the cool air would sneak through. Now, Miss G is a huge cuddler. She does a trust fall into me to get her belly rubbed. And hers is the first face that I see when I wake up in the morning.

Traveling has become more difficult these past 4 years. Not only do I have to find a dog sitter and recently I started paying someone instead of relying on my friends to watch her. But I also miss her so much when I am gone. I was recently gone for 3 nights and although I enjoyed my time, I was ready to come home. It’s so much nicer when Greta can come with.

She recently passed the therapy dog certification test. My goal is to have her come to school with me a few days a week. It will obviously enhance my day but I think it was enrich her life and the lives of all the students she will get to interact with. I am incredibly grateful to have my fur baby in my life. The amount of love I receive from her makes my life better. If we all were so lucky to have such love in our lives as that given by a dog.

Hustler

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I’ve had more than 1 job for as long as I can remember. In high school, I was a babysitter and I worked at the restaurant in town until it closed. Then it was the insurance agency and the ice cream parlour. In college, it was the same. Working in a pub while also doing work-study at the library. I’ve bartended most of my adult life while holding down a full time job. And during my stinch working as a Mary Kay Consultant and Director, I learned the importance of multiple streams of income. Even now, I am a school counselor during the day and a licensed professional counselor on the nights and weekends.

Most people say that I’m crazy for taking on more than one job. But as a single person who likes to travel and have nice things, I have to work multiple jobs to make it happen, unfortunately. I wish I could say that one job would be enough but working in education changes the game. And I do my best to keep my boundaries. However, there are a lot of night events that happen. I coached basketball for a few years. As much as I love the game and being in the gym with the girls, the return on time invested did not make it work it. For all the coaches out there, I send my respect as you have a love for your sport that few understand.

And for all the other hustlers in the world, I say, “you do you!” Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing with your time. If it is worth it to you, then go for it!!