I’ve had more than 1 job for as long as I can remember. In high school, I was a babysitter and I worked at the restaurant in town until it closed. Then it was the insurance agency and the ice cream parlour. In college, it was the same. Working in a pub while also doing work-study at the library. I’ve bartended most of my adult life while holding down a full time job. And during my stinch working as a Mary Kay Consultant and Director, I learned the importance of multiple streams of income. Even now, I am a school counselor during the day and a licensed professional counselor on the nights and weekends.

Most people say that I’m crazy for taking on more than one job. But as a single person who likes to travel and have nice things, I have to work multiple jobs to make it happen, unfortunately. I wish I could say that one job would be enough but working in education changes the game. And I do my best to keep my boundaries. However, there are a lot of night events that happen. I coached basketball for a few years. As much as I love the game and being in the gym with the girls, the return on time invested did not make it work it. For all the coaches out there, I send my respect as you have a love for your sport that few understand.

And for all the other hustlers in the world, I say, “you do you!” Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing with your time. If it is worth it to you, then go for it!!

As a therapist, it is interesting how the universe puts into your path the clients who struggle with many of the same things that show up in your life. It is an amazing phenomena that really makes me think twice before sharing my own experiences with clients as that is not the purpose of their therapy. Instead, it makes me reflect on my words and thoughts to help them but don’t always remember that they also apply to me.

I think it is amazing how sometimes the thing that we desire or want in life shows up in different ways. In many of my spiritual readings and research, often the virtue that we seek presents itself in a different form or opportunity. For example, to seek patience, one must experience an opportunity to practice patience. Often times, at least for me, this shows up in ways that I don’t necessarily see as “opportunities”. Rather they are burdens or inconveniences. Yet, they are still opportunities.

If we change our perspective, we can often see these opportunities that lie before us. This is a challenge but I really strive to push myself to squint past the inconvenience/disappointment/unrest/etc. and glimpse at the lesson/satisfaction/success/etc. that is on the horizon.

I didn’t get on a plane for the first time with my family like most do. Instead, my first time on an airplane was with a friend to visit a family that had moved to Florida from our small Illinois farmtown. I have been obsessed with traveling ever since. I will jump at any opportunity to explore somewhere new or just be in a different place than home.

I was with my dad and brother when they saw the ocean for the first time in Punta Cana. At that point in my life, I had lived ACROSS an ocean for half a year. When I wonder why I don’t belong in my family, I look at my experiences. It is hard to view the world the same after the many experiences I have had. I am in awe of what the world has to offer and am so incredibly grateful that I have been able to go, do and see so many places and cultures. I don’t make the most money but somehow I make travel a priority.

And I think I am a better person because of it. When I get frustrated at small thinkers or those stuck in their ways, I need to remind myself that others do not have that desire or opportunity so their view of the world is limited and that is okay. I have a hard time though when those people think their way is the right and only way. This world needs more empathy and less closed mindedness.

I’ve read in both professional and spiritual growth books that people who create change and/or are good at what they do face adversity along the way. And others will want to tear them down to make themselves feel big and/or to make them feel small. It’s what deters some people from achieving great things. The same can be said for bullies in school. They crave something the other has or they feel better by tearing others down to their level.

I am experiencing this from a parent at the school that I work at. Unfortunately, their student trusted me to share their experience at home and ask for help and support. The parent, whose actions have not been respectful to me in the past due to me not backing down to what they demanded, has created a formal, investigative complaint to the school district about my ability to due my job. However, because I did my job, it has come to light that the parent may not be taking responsibility for their parenting and their child’s choices.

This has been a challenge not because I fear for my job or that I question that I did the right thing because I know I did the best I could to support the student and their needs as best I could. But because it connects my name to a slanderous allegation. And there seem to be some personal aspects that were included that creep me out about what lengths this parent will go to in order to deflect their own personal shame onto me. Bullies suck. I have to continue to affirm to myself that I did my job and I will not let this person deter me from making a difference in students’ lives every day.

After being back with my family in the small town that I grew up in, I struggle to feel to know where I belong in this world. I feel like an outsider with my family who have never lived outside of my little town of 900 people. I was encouraged, and I might say forced, to leave my small town after high school by my parents. I lived in London after graduating college and worked there for 6 months before moving back and going to the big city of Chicago, which is only 2 hours away. Now that I live in Denver, I feel even more disconnected to this small town way of life.

Yet I feel this pull to return. My brother keeps telling me to “life my life” but it still feels like it is a negative thing for some reason. My father is in poor health but he is neither choosing to help himself get or feel better nor does he have the ability to change the nerve damage that is done. He sits in a chair or his bed for his entire day and does not want to try to do anything that is difficult that may help or enhance his life. I want to be around him and my mother and even my brother who doesn’t seem interested in having a relationship with his sister or anyone really (that is for another day). I love the simplicity of small town living but I have no friends there anymore. I don’t know what I would talk about with most anyone. The places I’ve been and the things I’ve done are incomprehensible to most everyone who lives there.

Or maybe it is just that I don’t feel like Denver is my forever home either. I don’t know. I’m not sure how to exist in the world without heritage and roots. I love being part of a large extended family with lots of cousins. But most everyone lives in the same small town or nearby except my dad’s sister whom most people in town don’t even remember that he has. Will that be me? Yes, my face is up on the walls at school for various athletic endeavors and I used to hold a high jump record, but my brother has a shrine built for him there (by my father) for what he was able to accomplish in basketball. Why do I care? I’m not sure. But it is real and it is raw every time I go home.

It took me a long time to finally figure out my career path and what made me feel most accomplished, confident and satisfying. My undergrad degrees are in Magazine Journalism and Graphic Design. My master’s degree is in Education with a focus in school counseling. I have worked in hospitality, design, publishing, sales, and law prior to my counseling career. My passion was my volunteer work. I was on a junior board for homeless youth in Chicago and volunteered often with children and young adults. I didn’t have much money but I was able to give my time to others.

In the process, I realized that I felt most fulfilled when working with other pursue their happiness. I didn’t have a great school counselor growing up and I had never gone to therapy before pursuing this career so my exposure was limited. Through experiences in my work, volunteer and honestly, my social circle, I realized that I was a really good listener. I don’t know if I would have been a great counselor straight out of undergrad. I’m thankful for the highs and lows because I now appreciate and value my career and having confidence in my ability to do it well. I wish that feeling of fulfillment on to everyone but so often money or comfort gets people stuck in their status quo. Taking a leap is scary. But rarely does it leave me with regret.