Close Minded Humans

I’ve been talking/meeting up with a new guy whom I told I only wanted to be friends and not date for the last few months. I thought he seemed like a person who was easy to talk to and could reference my past life in Chicago with. Yesterday, we met up for drinks to celebrate the start of my summer break and his getting a new job. We bar hopped and drank many cocktails.

At our last stop, we somehow got on the topic of transgendered individuals, in particular kids. He was so opinionated and refused to see a different perspective. In fact, he got so unsettled that he got up and left me and the bill at the bar. I was stunned. I didn’t think he was such a close minded person. And it’s bothered me all day and I’m not sure why. I certainly didn’t do anything wrong.

As a therapist, especially in a school, it is not my job to judge someone else’s life, feelings or way of being in the world. I am grateful for that gift. I would think it would be hard to go through life thinking you know better than everyone else. I can’t imagine a lot people want to be around that, unless they agree with his opinions, I guess.

It was such a strange interaction. And it affirms that dating in your 40s is even more difficult because people are set in their ways. I suppose I am guilty of that as well. It doesn’t deter me from meeting new people but I do think my guard will continue to be up for awhile as more than a few men have not showed their true colors until real topics of the world appear in our conversation.

Dating

I’ve decided to approach dating as entertainment only. It might not be the most responsible way about doing things, but it hasn’t worked when I’ve dated with the intention of getting into a relationship. Recently, I have been straight forward with a guy that I’m not sure I’m attracted to but I enjoyed talking with him. It seems people aren’t always interested in being friends first. This guy says that he is okay with it. I guess we shall see how it goes.

What is really interesting is how few times a guy will actually ask to meet when using a dating app. Like, isn’t that the point of the app. I am not a great texter. I’ve found that anyone can sound great in text but the actual interaction can be horrid. So, why waste my energy on texting when it could be very clear by simply meeting for a drink or coffee. At least I haven’t given up, although I can close.