This is the first Christmas that I have not spent with my family since I lived in London, which makes it the second Christmas I have ever not spent it with my parents in my 42 years on earth. I know they were sad about me not being with them, but I feel pretty good after all is said and done. Not one tear has been shed in the past two days, which is better than I expected.

All we do for Christmas is eat a big meal together. We don’t do gifts and there are no kiddos running around so it is pretty boring. Yesterday, I went to church and then hosted a few friends over for a drink or two. Then I watched Christmas movies all night by the fire with my pup snuggling close.

This morning, I slept in and then started cooking. I made peanut blossom cookies and then started on my grandma’s cinnamon roll recipe, which took 3 hours to rise. I made an omelet for breakfast and around 1, decided to make lunch which was a New York strip with cheesy potatoes and the lettuce salad my mom always makes. All while listening to Christmas music.

It was a bit chilly out today so I didn’t take Greta for a walk. But I did a holiday Peloton ride so I don’t feel as round in the middle as I did this afternoon. And I started a 1000 piece puzzle that sucked me in for a few hours. I didn’t go to the movies as I had originally planned because it was so cold and the rolls were taking longer than expected. I feel good about my day. It was full of good food, which is what I would have had at home. And no stress.

I started to think that maybe I should go home for Christmas while my dad is still alive and stop being so selfish. I guess I have 364 days to think about it. I feel like it will also depend on this next IVF cycle. If it is successful, I want to have Christmas at home to create our own traditions. If it is not, then maybe I start traveling to Europe for Christmas since they do it so much better over there. For now, I just need to focus on the present and live life to the fullest one day at a time.